Healthy Relationships
A Guide to Addressing Children's Concerns
Imagine being scared to go home…
This is a reality for some children who are living in an abusive environment. The Calgary Police Service receives up to 900 calls per month related to domestic conflict. And professionals estimate that one in five school-aged children is witnessing or experiencing domestic abuse. To respond to this issue, the Calgary Police Interpretive Centre has created an educational programme that addresses family violence and child abuse issues.
Healthy Relationships was developed for teachers of grades four and five to promote healthy relationships in our communities, to prevent and stop child abuse, and to address specific outcomes in the Health and Life Skills curriculum. In the context of this programme, the term “unhealthy relationship” is generally used to refer to family violence, but unhealthy relationships can also include school bullying, put-downs, prejudice and stereotyping, and other forms of abusive behaviour.
Why is it important to discuss issues like family violence and child abuse in a classroom setting? People begin to learn abusive and controlling behaviours and attitudes at an early age. This is the time to intervene, create awareness and replace the learning of abusive behaviours with the learning of respect and equality.
Three to five children in every classroom, on average, have witnessed their fathers physically abusing their mothers. The rates for other forms of abuse are even higher. What goes on within families tends to be perpetuated from generation to generation. This is well documented through research. Most abusive families do not seek help on their own and many abusive persons, although they want another way of life, try to hide their actions and deal with it themselves. Few are successful. Means of reaching these families in the past has been limited to remedial intervention after serious family problems become public and various legal and social agencies enter the scene in rescue mode.
Changing the societal trend of family violence requires changing attitudes of affected children through early intervention.
Abusive and violent behaviour behind closed doors is more widespread than we thought it was 25 or 30 years ago. It is also more complex and varied. In recent years the more subtle forms of abusiveness that people may use to manipulate, control and damage each other have come to light.
This problem affects almost everybody on some level, but in many families, abuse can result in lasting psychological effects on all members. Furthermore, these tactics may be practiced by any individual regardless of gender, age, race, cultural background or economic or social status – abuse may exist in any home.
Until recently the serious effects on children from simply witnessing abuse were not understood. We now know that witnessing abuse, particularly abuse of women, results in psychological damage to children similar to child abuse itself.
Some teachers may be uncomfortable teaching a subject like this in class because they don’t have specific training, But Healthy Relationships was designed for presenters who “don’t know what to say” or who don’t know all the answers. Background information, classroom strategies, monologues, suggested answers, and what to do with unexpected reactions from children – including disclosures – are all carefully detailed in this programme’s manual.
The programme has six lessons of approximately 45 minutes each, dealing with topics like: feelings and emotions, the types of abuse, identifying unhealthy secrets, safety planning, and communication and conflict resolution. The lesson objectives dovetail with many of the specific outcome objectives in the Alberta Learning Health and Life Skills Curriculum. Therefore, bits and pieces may be taken from this manual and used in a Health and Life Skills class. Ultimately it is up to teachers to decide how much time is spent using the programme.
The lessons have also been structured to represent a range of teaching and learning modalities, including mini-lectures, classroom discussions, group games and activities, independent worksheets and crafts, and homework assignments.
To order this programme, please call 206-8245.
